a conversation on marriage

"It is impossible for me to think about marriage unless I find someone who will let me work in disaster areas."
"Well, you should probably look beyond Toronto. The guys here are wimps."

na na na na. hey!

In the past few months I have often discussed the importance for people to cut back on this consumer lifestyle we all lead. If we don't, we are going to run out of stuff, and generally kill the planet.. I do really strongly believe this.
This week I came home to find that we have no dryer. My mum has decided that to make our eco-footprint smaller, we don't really need one. Instead there are socks drying on long dowling rods in our dining room. She also last night discussed whether we should be using toilet paper.
"Why not newspaper?" she said. "Or wet cloths?"
I am beginning to feel that I am to blame, and that I should definitely watch what I say. But it got me thinking.. all my life I have assumed that toilet paper and dryers are essential to life. When I imagine being eco-friendly I think of: having a couple of chickens for pets, wearing organic hemp clothing, only using natural light, etc. Without realizing it, I have cottoned on to the mainstream going green stuff that is considered somewhat acceptable and sort of cool. But perhaps looking after creation involves the embarrassing stuff as well, like having wet underpants hanging from your bedposts.

I absentmindedly started singing part of a song as I thought about this:
and I'll become even more undignified than this
leave my pride by my side

Maybe there is more to being undignified than doing the chicken dance in church. I don't know if I'm ready to totally give up my pride, but I am willing to accept that I don't really need it.


Wow. I talked about chickens twice in this post without meaning to talk about them at all.
Incidentally, I am happy to use leaves, or even maybe newspaper, but there is no way I am going to use a reusable wet cloth to wipe my butt.

I have a job. I have a job. I have a job.

The weirdest thing about right now is that I resent happy people.... so strange. I have never been much of a resentful person so it is a newish feeling and I don't like it.

My goal is to write one essay today. On the difficulties Pastoral Nomadism faces these days.

So I am down to four minute showers, and well on my way to running 10 k by the end of the year. I'm at 5k in 30 minutes, on a treadmill. Yesterday I attempted to run outside for the first time and it was hell. Ahhhhh - I have six weeks to prepare to run 8k in 45 minutes outside. But I still haven't worked on my last and probably most important new years resolution - to get all my work done during the week so I can actually enjoy Sundays. I am going to work on this one particularly this week.

Wednesday is Hump Day

I have had the strangest day and I feel genuinely different and I don't know if I can really explain it except that I feel physically lighter.
My day included:
-being very very sore from the beginnings of my exercise routine --> 4.2 k in 30 minutes!
-crying in the head of my program's office
-having a spiritual realization
-confidentially learning about the underhandedness of the Scarborough Campus Student's Union over coffee
-thoroughly appreciating a cheap yet yummy sub

I don't know, but I think today might be important.

some poetry or words or an attempt at being deep

This is my teapot and matching
garden table.
Here is the Beethoven string
quartet
And I blow bubbles
That pop before they hit the ground.

I would like to find a corner
A cranny
Where I can sit and sit and sit and
Let my mind float away
upon a disco ball.

Where, O where shall I go?
Stop being wishy-washy.

There is an icicle outside the window
That melts slowly in the morning sun.
She watches
Thinking on the good old days.
All morning
Aeroplanes swoop and dive
Thunder masked by the
Warning sirens.
The icicle slips,
She waits,
Wondering in morse code,
When is lunch?

Ending statements or conclusions are the most difficult.
A huge leap into assumption.