the coolness factor

Been thinking a lot recently about the things I layer myself with to add to my coolness factor. This summer for the first time in years I was no longer the token cellist (one of my co-workers is doing her masters in performance), and this gave me a whole summer to come to terms with the fact that I put things in front of me to keep myself from.. getting hurt I guess. Since about grade 7 or 8 I've basically introduced myself thus: "Hello my name is Madeleine and I play the cello." It's like I can't deal with only being Madeleine. I have to use what I do to explain who I am. I think this comes from not being very good at small talk - always been a bit shy. But also I think I'm partially scared that I'm not cool enough just on my own. I do this with other things as well, not just cello. Knitting, wearing strange clothes, changing my hairstyle, my moral beliefs, etc. All for the sake of self promotion. I think to an extent I even use the guise of humbleness/a call for simplicity to appear cooler. Very ironic.
At some point, I am going to have to either get rid of this self-promotion thing(as much I can) or, now that I'm aware of this, consciously decide to keep it along with whatever level of cool it comes with. The latter decision being a pretty stupid one. I've prided myself in not being scared of change, but then I've never had to change much. The point has come, though, and I'd rather not be a coward.
The skill comes in learning to ask and listen to others, find the common interest or whatever, and then making the personal connection. Does this make sense?

Music.. being in a group, dancing!, writing, and throwing caution to the winds...
I am SO OUT OF PRACTICE! Aieee
I've been told that laid back-ness and not liking schedules is part of my personality and simply something I have to deal with, but I'm not happy with that answer. I just need to practice. And I think I need to make a list. Already I can think of three things I need to focus on: Kirk Franklin, Velvet Underground, and knitting.