föstudagur, desember 04, 2009
þriðjudagur, nóvember 24, 2009
the coolness factor
Been thinking a lot recently about the things I layer myself with to add to my coolness factor. This summer for the first time in years I was no longer the token cellist (one of my co-workers is doing her masters in performance), and this gave me a whole summer to come to terms with the fact that I put things in front of me to keep myself from.. getting hurt I guess. Since about grade 7 or 8 I've basically introduced myself thus: "Hello my name is Madeleine and I play the cello." It's like I can't deal with only being Madeleine. I have to use what I do to explain who I am. I think this comes from not being very good at small talk - always been a bit shy. But also I think I'm partially scared that I'm not cool enough just on my own. I do this with other things as well, not just cello. Knitting, wearing strange clothes, changing my hairstyle, my moral beliefs, etc. All for the sake of self promotion. I think to an extent I even use the guise of humbleness/a call for simplicity to appear cooler. Very ironic.
At some point, I am going to have to either get rid of this self-promotion thing(as much I can) or, now that I'm aware of this, consciously decide to keep it along with whatever level of cool it comes with. The latter decision being a pretty stupid one. I've prided myself in not being scared of change, but then I've never had to change much. The point has come, though, and I'd rather not be a coward.
The skill comes in learning to ask and listen to others, find the common interest or whatever, and then making the personal connection. Does this make sense?
At some point, I am going to have to either get rid of this self-promotion thing(as much I can) or, now that I'm aware of this, consciously decide to keep it along with whatever level of cool it comes with. The latter decision being a pretty stupid one. I've prided myself in not being scared of change, but then I've never had to change much. The point has come, though, and I'd rather not be a coward.
The skill comes in learning to ask and listen to others, find the common interest or whatever, and then making the personal connection. Does this make sense?
þriðjudagur, nóvember 10, 2009
Music.. being in a group, dancing!, writing, and throwing caution to the winds...
I am SO OUT OF PRACTICE! Aieee
I've been told that laid back-ness and not liking schedules is part of my personality and simply something I have to deal with, but I'm not happy with that answer. I just need to practice. And I think I need to make a list. Already I can think of three things I need to focus on: Kirk Franklin, Velvet Underground, and knitting.
I am SO OUT OF PRACTICE! Aieee
I've been told that laid back-ness and not liking schedules is part of my personality and simply something I have to deal with, but I'm not happy with that answer. I just need to practice. And I think I need to make a list. Already I can think of three things I need to focus on: Kirk Franklin, Velvet Underground, and knitting.
mánudagur, október 26, 2009
laugardagur, október 17, 2009
sunnudagur, október 11, 2009
When I meet someone I'm interested in, I have this habit of imagining how I'd turn him down gently. I've always done this, so I'm starting to wonder if I just haven't met anyone worth considering? Or is this being a little melodramatic..?
One of the best things about my work is getting to do kid things with kids. I'm working on building a cardboard house with the grade 1/2s and having a spectacular time. They are so creative! They remember things about what absolutely needs to be in a house that I tend to forget. Like a mail slot with mail in it, a doorbell, a chimney, a rabbit in the garden, and of course a treehouse. It's just fantastic to be able to enjoy their company and watch them work together on these things. On Thursday we're presenting our house to the parents at a potluck and even though most people there might think it doesn't look too great, or that we've missed important elements (like beds), this house represents a jumble of delightful half hours spent dreaming and discussing the importance of how to make a good toilet.
What childhood activity do you absolutely plan on passing on to your kids? Do you have any suggestions for things I should do with my kids in SJT?
One of the best things about my work is getting to do kid things with kids. I'm working on building a cardboard house with the grade 1/2s and having a spectacular time. They are so creative! They remember things about what absolutely needs to be in a house that I tend to forget. Like a mail slot with mail in it, a doorbell, a chimney, a rabbit in the garden, and of course a treehouse. It's just fantastic to be able to enjoy their company and watch them work together on these things. On Thursday we're presenting our house to the parents at a potluck and even though most people there might think it doesn't look too great, or that we've missed important elements (like beds), this house represents a jumble of delightful half hours spent dreaming and discussing the importance of how to make a good toilet.
What childhood activity do you absolutely plan on passing on to your kids? Do you have any suggestions for things I should do with my kids in SJT?
sunnudagur, ágúst 23, 2009
In three words
My summer: whirlwind, focused, bountiful(?)Was going to switch to a small school in Winnipeg until last Thursday, when I had a change of mind. Toronto is a bit more practical. I'm taking school part-time (downtown! yaaay!), and working (volunteering, actually. I have to raise my own support [hint, hint. hehe]) for Toronto City Mission. Which is the place I've been working this summer. ahhhh Life is weird. I had no idea at the beginning of the summer that I'd be where I am now.
I got a camera for my birthday. :)
Your summer in three words...?
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