lots of things running through my mind.
Why am I completely incapable of keeping a steady schedule?
I've given up the chance of directing a Shakespeare. Am I completely insane? I'm the ghost now, in more ways than one.
It is so hard to let go of an idea that has captured my attention for over two years.
How much pain do/will I cause other people?
If I were to look into a mirror every morning and tell myself, "You're beautiful, Madeleine," would I eventually believe myself? How much power do words have on insecurities?
Can I question faith without losing it? Can I allow myself to search?
I think part of humbleness is realizing that you're very imperfect all the time, past, PRESENT, future. I've had a hard time with the present part of that. When I think about sin, I think about specific instances of sin rather than that I am sinning right now in more ways than I will ever know. Scary scary scary thought.
I have never heard my dad say "I love you," or "I'm sorry," and that bugs me a lot. My mum has sort of explained that this is because in England people are really reserved about that kind of thing. I wouldn't know. I've never spent much time in England. I think that I want to go to understand half of me.
Gerast áskrifandi að:
Birta ummæli (Atom)
7 ummæli:
seems these blogs are getting lots of question ones'selfs posts recently. hope you find whatever it is you're looking for! i'm here to be the support you need! :)
*this comment is redeemable for one free hug from jonathan. valid until november 10, 2007*
hahaha
soo true - it must be the weather
november always makes people ask, "Why am I here??????"
"What kind of a joke is this????"
yes, i've decided that teenage angst makes God giggle.
i am definitely going to make use of that free hug, and i promise my next blog will be happy, comforting, beautiful.
just say what comes to mind. if it requires more hugh coupons, that is a small price to pay...
well i do have this miserable song i wrote which i must play for you.. i played it for noelle today, and she was almost in tears by the end. i dont know if this should make me happy or sad.
that means it's a good song! mine would draw tears, but the pace is too fast for that...
Can I question faith without losing it? Can I allow myself to search?
I think everybody NEEDS to do this at least one time in their life, actually many times. We need to be constantly growing and learning more about our faith and what we believe.
ive never heard my dad say either of those either.
Skrifa ummæli